I Am a Dreamer

judy ausley 2013

Southern Comfort

written by Judy Ausley –

I have always lived my life with magical thinking.

Often I have been referred to by former girlfriends over the years as being far too much of a dreamer. When I think of it and the past I have to admit, it did not seem to be that much of a problem for me, I was an admitted dreamer.

When I talked about myself, I usually put on my reporters hat and retort, “What is wrong with that, what if I am a dreamer, is that such a bad thing?” Often times just to aggravate the situation and get them to respond, I said things like that and worse. Usually a big argument would erupt, depending on who I was with at that particular time in my journey.

Maybe it is because I am looking for the perfect relationship, the perfect situation with a certain somebody? The perfect job? I always thought, everyone is looking for the perfect person, so what?

Honestly, my life as a news reporter with newspapers all over NC has been a dream. I recently said to my brother in Florida, “Unless I am connected to some newspaper where I am living, I just cannot be in sync all the time.” This is true. Our names are printed in a paper all the time and if we stay at a job long enough readers feel they know all about us! Kinda unfair, don’t you think?

I would think to myself when I was a young reporter, why do readers do that at times? Only when they disagree with us, another reporter would say. I would comment, but they do not know one thing about me or my dreams.

I lived one time as a fulltime freelancer with newspapers in western North Carolina and was lucky when I made $1,000 a month peddling my stories. I was constantly at the mercy of the editors I worked with. They paid me per story. At the time I survived, but it was not easy. That was over 10 years ago.

There is one damn true fact about that, No One, not even me can live like that in this day and time. Although we are in the midst of an economic explosion or boom in Asheville over beer for some people but I say, has just one brewery or business owner’s with their fancy restaurants/bars ever stopped to think about the other people who live here. The people you will never see in your place of business.

I think in President Obama’s address on Tuesday evening, the statement he made about who could live on $15,000 year? And when he added, “If you doubt what I’m saying, try it!” I could not have said it better.

President Obama is a good man, no doubt about it and I know it because he is just as I am, a dreamer. We dreamers who ever we are can utter words from our lips just like fine wine flows from a bottle. We paint convincing pictures in the sky, but eventually it just fades into the clouds to be never seen again.

Is that all there is? I wonder?

 


 

Writer Judy Ausley has been a reporter with newspapers in NC for 40 years. She retired in 2005 and continues to freelance. She can be contacted by e-mail at Judyausley@aol.com. If you know of a character in Asheville who has not had a conventional life, put them in touch with Judy for an article in this column, Southern Comfort.