The Buttons

Written by Celia Miles – Holly twisted the thread connecting the purple button on her blazer cuff and kept twisting it, concentrating on its double thickness, determined to conquer, to separate the button from its allotted space. She knew that the woman sitting opposite had been watching for some time, maybe willing the button to resist. As the thread broke, Holly wanted to push the purple button up her nose, to astonish the woman, to cause some small degree of consternation in the room. She balanced the button on an upturned forefinger, tempted to bring it to her nostril.

“Mrs. Noland, please.” The nurse waited for Holly to precede her into Dr. Wesson’s office. Holly looked at the button and then pushed it into the fake soil of the fake plant on the table beside the green vinyl sofa. Holly winked at the woman whose mouth was now a little o and followed the nurse.

“No luck this time, Mrs. Noland.” Dr. Wesson washed his hands. “Don’t give up hope yet. A colleague in Baltimore has a reputation for cracking tough cases.” He nodded to the nurse. “The office will set up the appointment.” One more defeat for him.

~~~

Dr. Dannois’ office was small, decorated in pastels: pink and blue and yellow. The flowers were real, the sofa a floral fabric. The one other patient was a girl, surely too young to be here. Holly’s suit jacket had brass buttons imprinted with lions. She started working on the lowest, most accessible button. She waited two hours in Dr. Dannois’ office and the button perversely took forever. She twisted methodically minute after minute until the girl could neither ignore the activity nor acknowledge it. She inspected the prints of hovering sea gulls, leaving Holly to concentrate furiously. After a final brutal twist, the button rolled down Holly’s thigh and under the nearby table. With a look of satisfaction, Holly got down on her knees to seek the button. She wiped wisps of dust lint from it as if brushing straw from a boy’s curls. Approaching the plant, she poked her finger into the soft dirt, shoving the button close to the roots of the tulip. The nurse announced: “Mrs. Noland, this way.” The girl turned and Holly lifted her eyebrows, as if they’d shared a joke.

Thirty-five minutes later, Holly waited for the doctor’s words. “I want you to see Dr. Meizel.” Dr. Dannois semi-slumped into a chair. “You’ll like him.” Holly breathed deeply and stood. When she extended her hand, Dr. Dannois almost missed the gesture, turning as she was to make a final notation on the chart. “Ah, yes,” she murmured. “Let me know, will you?”

~~~

In the waiting room Holly worried. First one fine white button, then another, from the double-buttoned cuff of her white blouse. As she twisted and pulled, she noticed the tiny freckles adorning her hand but she did not allow them to distract her. Her intense concentration drew attention. One woman stopped reading Parents and stared, her lips slightly pursed. Another slopped coffee at the urn. Holly spent more than twenty minutes on the first button, seventeen on the next. The Parents reader clocked the second and breathed audibly when both buttons lay in Holly’s hand. When the nurse appeared, Holly arose and smiled. She took the buttons over to the large Ficus tree in the corner and while the nurse waited, Holly carefully planted the buttons fairly close to each other. Brushing her soiled hands on her blue linen skirt, she wrinkled her nose and went into Dr. Meizel’s office.

~~~

“What’s this thing?” Dr. Wesson’s receptionist, dusting the office plants, thought she saw a purple blossom among the fake flowers.

~~~

“What in the world?” Dr. Dannois’ nurse examined the strangely golden, brassy-looking tulip bloom.

~~~

“Strange,” Dr. Meizel’s patient said. Two little white flowers seemed out of place under the Ficus tree.

And miles away, Holly slept with her newborns cradled close.

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Celia Miles, a retired community college instructor, lives and writes in Asheville, NC. She is author of several regional novels, and with Nancy Dillingham she has co-edited three anthologies of Western NC women writers. Her latest novel is The Body at Wrapp’s Mill: A Grist Mill Mystery.